A Joke for your Saturday!

Old Harold

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?'

Harold grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold..

Another Diagnoses, or at least a step towards one, and the relief of knowing it's not all in my head

OK, I can't remember if I have told you all before, so I will give you a bit of background before getting to the point!

I have had joint pain and discomfort for many years (approx. 10 years, a long time when you're only 18). At first it was passed off as growing pains...then I stopped growing. For a long time I just lived with it, sometimes it made it hard to do things that other people didn't have trouble with, but no-one really took much notice (just to point out, I do have a very caring family and friends, so don't think they are all heartless as I write this, they just didn't get it). I got told not to spend so much time reading, or on my computer, or whatever and do more exercise (which I did try, but it tended to result in more pain than less a lot of the time). When I said that something made it hurt, I was told, 'well don't do that'. It wasn't till I was about 16 that I saw a doctor for it, and she didn't know what it was, I was told that it wasn't arthritis and to take fish oil tablets (they are good for joints). They helped for a while, but the pains still got worse, and more things became difficult. I started karate, which I really enjoy, but had to be careful about how I did the exercises so I didn't cause to much pain.

That brings me to recently. About a month ago my shoulder started getting really bad (used to be mainly my knees and wrists). Then they started to clunk and click (hard to explain but obvious when you feel my shoulder as I move it). It took till last week for anyone to take it seriously, and finally I was booked in for another doctors appointment. (I should probably point out as well that most people when I tried to tell them I had joint problems told me I was too young for that, and so by their logic apparently I don't have it! Still trying to figure out that logic). Well the doctor basically said the same thing, too young to have it, but he sent me to get scans anyway (shoulder ultrasounds). Guess what, turns out there is something wrong with my shoulders! (Hence the 'Not all in my head' comment!).

I felt like crying with relief knowing that now I won't have to just live with joint pain for no reason (later I felt like crying again when I realised how long it could take to treat, possibly six months, because it has been so painful I am having trouble sleeping)

Apparently I have a problem with the layer between the muscles in my shoulder, called the Bursa, which is supposed to help the muscles move past each other properly. Mine is too thick and is taking up too much space, meaning that the muscles can't move properly. (Hard to explain it very well when I don't entirely understand how it works myself yet!). So now I have proof of a problem existing, now maybe I can find out why. I also had x-rays taken, to see if there are any other problems, but I won't find out about that till my next appointment. At least it is treatable, so that is something to be thankful for, of course they will still have to work out what caused it in the first place (it is usually caused by an injury, but I have never had a shoulder injury) and whether the rest of my joints are suffering the same thing (definitely ruling out the injury theory!).

Thankfully, as well as now having a start for working out the problem, I now know that I can take anti-inflammatories to help with the pain (although only mild ones unfortunately due to the other medication I already take)

I really hope that it doesn't take too long to sort out, I don't know if I would handle it very well if I was told that I will just have to live with this, so lets hope it all works out

An Email Sent to Me That Deserves To Be Shared

The crocheted tablecloth

Beautiful story.... makes you understand that things happen for a reason…

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

B y this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. 'Pastor,' she asked, 'where did you get that tablecloth?'

The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there.. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

T he woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week..

He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike.

H e told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

H e helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid

Who says God does not work in mysterious ways..

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares you know He will see us through..

So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best.. Just remember I'm here praying and God will do the rest.

A Joke for your Saturday!

Here are some computer errors you might like!

Contact Lenses

I am getting contact lenses! I have never even wanted contact lenses before, but since I have started Karate, they have seemed more and more like a smart idea. Especially during grappling I am at quite a significant disadvantage, because I have to take off my glasses, and so I can't see my opponent properly, which makes it hard to dodge, and perform, take downs. It is also annoying during training, because I have to keep putting them on when they are demonstrating a move, then take them off again to try it.

I had mentioned this to mum, but she didn't really take me seriously, until she (and dad and my sister and all her friends) came to watch me at a club grappling tournament (did I mention I went in a grappling tournament? I lost, but that's because I got a lousy draw and had to fight a black belt then a brown belt and I'm a white belt! I still put up a good fight though!) that they realised that contacts really were needed.

So this week I am getting my contacts! Today was my first lesson to practice putting them in and taking them out (you have to show you can do it safely before they let you take them home), and I was pretty good at it, so I should be able to take them home tomorrow!

It was very weird though, after all I have had to wear glasses full time since I was about 10 (I'm now 18), and I have needed to wear them nearly all the time since years before that. So to be able to see without the rims of my glasses in my vision was really bizarre, and even weirder was being able to see myself without glasses, because normally I can't see well enough without my glasses to see myself without my glasses!

I am starting to see why people who get contact lenses end up wearing them all the time, but at the same time, I don't think I want to, even though it was almost disappointing to put my glasses back on and loose the range of vision they gave me. I am now noticing my frames like I haven't noticed them in years. But my glasses have been part of me for so long, that I don't know that I want to give them up. It is a bit like how people have asked me if I would get rid of my tourettes if I could, and to be honest, as much as it annoys me, I don't think I would. It is a part of me, and it has helped to define who I am, to make me the person I am, and my glasses are the same. Still, wait and see, I may change my mind, I might get used to the idea of me without glasses, or I might not!

What about you? Do you wear glasses, or contacts, or both?
Do you have something in your life that sometimes you hate, but when you think about it you wouldn't give it up if given the choice?

A story to bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your heart

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?



At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'



The audience was stilled by the query.



The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:



Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.



I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'



Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.



At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.



However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.



The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.



Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.



Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.



All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'



Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'



As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team



'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.



Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A Joke for your Saturday!

Civilisation As We Know It



RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk.



DICTATORSHIP: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.



SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. The government fines you for
illegally keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.



PURE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.



REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone
through a vote to tell you who gets the milk.



AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote
for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in
cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".



BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they
go mad. The government doesn't do anything.



BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the
milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for
the missing cows.



CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull which you use to
breed the other cow as well as every other cow in the area. Then you start
exporting from the bull to emerging markets. After several years of
expansion, your company issues an IPO to be listed on the NYSE. The SEC
eventually instigates legal proceedings against you and your spouse for
insider trading. After a lengthy court battle, you are found guilty and
sentenced to 10 years in prison, of which you actually serve 7 weeks. When
you come out of prison, you buy 2 chickens. Then . . .



HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all 4 cows back with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to
a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who
sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company and
proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the
company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2
cows because the feng shui is bad.



ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have 2 cows. The government bans you from milking or
killing them.



FEMINISM: You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.



TOTALITARIANISM: Your have 2 cows. The government takes them and denies
they ever existed. Milk is banned.



POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a symbol of the war-mongerism, intolerant past) 2 differently aged (but
no less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.



COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like ... these 2 cows, man. You got to
have some of this milk!



SURREALISM: You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.



LIBERTY: Whatever.

Foster Kittens!! So Cute!!

My friend is currently fostering 5 RSPCA kittens, and they are sooo cute! I knew you would want to see them, so I tried to take some photos for you (they don't like to sit still, and half the time I was laughing to hard to hold the camera still, so they are a bit blury!)

Meet Kochanski, Ziva, Lister, Vivyan and Daniel (And yes my friend and I like TV shows to much! lol)

This is Lister, who fell asleep on my lap mid play!

This is Vivyan (the mostly white one) and Daniel, who's wrestly match I have just disrupted with the flash

And this is Ziva (front) and Kochanski (back) trying their best to distract my friend from her computer

Kochanski has a go at typing!

The rest of the photos were to blury from laughing, or movement, so these will have to do for now! Aren't they adorable!

Social Vibe

As you might have noticed I have added the Social Vibe gadget to my page. I like the idea that my blog and the people who visit it can help people out there! It was a tough choice to pick a charity, so at the moment I am supporting Camfed, though I will probably change it fairly regularly so we can help other causes! I will post to tell you when I change charities so you can support them too! I hope you all get involved, because it really is a good cause, I think!

Are you going to use Social Vibe on your blogs? What do you think about it?

A Joke for your Saturday!

Rules of the Universe

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.

13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.

17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks (hours?) before you need it.

18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

23. It ain't the jeans that make your backside look fat.

24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'

25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

26. You should not confuse your career with your life.

27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

28. Never lick a steak knife.

29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

33. Your friends love you anyway.

34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

36. Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content