My Thoughts On The World

An update

2010-07-12T23:00:00.002+11:00

As you've probably noticed, I don't have much time for my blog anymore, though I still check everyone elses most weeks, but I thought it was about time I posted an update on how I've been for anyone still interested.

Well, I'm still struggling with a few things, still don't know what's causing my joint pain for starters, and I was involved in another car crash (thankfully everyone was fine, just very shaken)

On the other hand, some things have definitely improved, I am no longer volunteering at the RSPCA - I now work there! It's hard work, but I love it! I have almost finished my Veterinary Nursing course (can't wait for the end of assessments!) and am still doing Karate and loving it, I am now a green belt, and going for my blue belt in a couple of months.

My Grandfather pulled through after his heart attack, which I am thanking God for, and though he has been sick a few times since, is doing pretty well.

I am also at the moment looking for a house to rent with my best friend - finally moving out of home!! Which will be an interesting experience, no doubt!

And that about sums up how I'm doing! I'd love to here how you have been doing in my absence too! Hope everyone has been having a good year so far!

Hopefully will post again a bit sooner next time!

Merry Christmas and attempt 2 at regular posts!

2009-12-29T21:51:00.002+11:00

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas with friends and family!

I know that I said last post (I can't believe that was over a month ago!) that I would be posting more regularly again, but a number of things came up, unfortunately not good things.

A few weeks ago we got a call saying that our Grandpa was in hospital. He had had a heart attack and they were worried that he wouldn't make it through the night. So we packed some things and drove the 4 hours to visit him in hospital, praying that he would be ok. Thankfully our prayers were answered and he is now out of hospital, although he is still not well and needs a nurse to help him get ready each morning, and he can't go anywhere without oxygen now, but we are just greatful that he is still with us for a while longer yet.

I also got the test results back that I was waiting for when I last posted. They came back negative. To be honest I don't know whether to be happy or depressed about this, because now I am back to nobody being able to tell me what is wrong, and the doctor I had been seeing seems to think that as the test came back negative that is the end of it (Have I mentioned that I am cursed when it comes to doctors? Well I am, for as long as I can remember I have never seen a doctor more than twice, and most of the time it is only once, before they leave. I swear I don't do anything! I even warn them that I am cursed and they will leave before they see me again, they just laugh and assure me that they aren't going anywhere, well this is the only doctor who hasn't left, and he is so useless I am leaving him! *bangs head against the wall*) So I am still in pain, and all I can do is take painkillers (which are not even getting rid of all the pain) and hope that the next doctor can help.

I also told you I would tell you more about my car/license troubles. Well, what happened was that I was hit by another car while going through a round-about, and although I was in the right I have been charged with Negligent driving, which could have resulted in me loosing my license. We tried to fight it, because I did not want to loose my license, and because I didn't want it on my record, but unfortunately it was going to have to go to court, and we couldn't afford that. Thankfully, I will not be loosing my license, just, I have lost 3 out of 4 points on my license though, and it will be going on my record, which I am not happy about.

And just to add insult to injury, all of this stress has caused my Tourettes to play up, to the point where I nearly fell down the stairs at the mall the other day because my eye tics where so bad I couldn't see where I was going properly. It sucks.

Sorry for the depressing post, but hopefully that is all the bad news out of the way, and lets hope there will be good news next time I post!

Hi Everyone, I'm Back

2009-11-28T16:43:00.011+11:00

Hello, I am still here! And I plan on posting regularly again for a while at least. I will try and catch you up on everything that has been happening that has been keeping me from blogging for the last two months or so, it may take a couple of posts though.

I have been very busy lately, my course that I have been doing at TAFE, Veterinary Nursing, has required a lot of study time, and I have been doing work experience at the Vet's down the road two days a week for that, as well as the two days of volunteer work I do out at the RSPCA, so that has been taking up a lot of my time.

Also, if you remember, just before I stopped posting regularly I mentioned that I was starting Karate because one of my friends invited me along. Well I love it, so much that we go to training for an hour five days a week, and I now also do grappling and weapons, which is great fun! I am making new friends, I am fitter than I have been for years, I have gained a lot of confidence from knowing that I can defend myself, and I will be going for my yellow belt in a month (that's the second belt grade).

The main reason that have I have not been blogging though, is that I have been going through a bit of a tough time over the last couple of months, and really did not feel like sharing at the time. I also didn't want to depress you all with my problems, and still don't, but I will tell you a bit about what I have been going through.

Firstly, continuing from this post, I got my x-ray results back. And it wasn't good news. There is a significant chance that I have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. A fact that I am still somewhat in denial about, I have to admit, because I am still waiting for my blood test results, but which I will probably have to learn to accept. I am slowly learning to cope with this fact, and at least now people believe that I am in pain, but it is still kinda hard some times. Even though it was already a possibility, I honestly didn't believe that it would be arthritis, that was always my worst case scenario, which I never actually thought would happen. When I first heard all I wanted to do was cry, and I will be forever grateful to my friend A for coming around, getting KFC with me and sitting in front of a movie with me. It may not sound like much, but it was exactly what I needed at the time, to just pretend it wasn't happening.

Unfortunately, having the diagnoses doesn't help with the pain, which can be pretty awful some days, and despite the fact that I have always hated taking pain killers when they aren't completely necessary, I have been taking six neurofen a day some days just so I can do things that never used to give me any problems, like sitting still at my desk, or sleeping.

Sleeping is the worst, I have always needed lots of sleep, but I have also always slept on my side, and now I cannot because it is too painful to put that much weight on one shoulder, so I have had to learn to sleep on my back or stomach, which has not been easy, and has resulted in some horible nights sleep. I am slowly learning to cope with it, though I will always prefer sleeping on my side.

The final event which has been making life hard lately is that someone ran into the car while I was driving to the RSPCA last month, and I am being charged for it! (I'll post that rant later!) And so now I am fighting to keep my licence.

So there you are, that about sums up the main part of the last two months, I'll post some more later, like how unbelievably hot it is here at the moment, but that's probably enough for now!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-10-03T08:00:00.000+11:00

Old Harold

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?'

Harold grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold..

Another Diagnoses, or at least a step towards one, and the relief of knowing it's not all in my head

2009-09-30T15:51:00.006+11:00

OK, I can't remember if I have told you all before, so I will give you a bit of background before getting to the point!

I have had joint pain and discomfort for many years (approx. 10 years, a long time when you're only 18). At first it was passed off as growing pains...then I stopped growing. For a long time I just lived with it, sometimes it made it hard to do things that other people didn't have trouble with, but no-one really took much notice (just to point out, I do have a very caring family and friends, so don't think they are all heartless as I write this, they just didn't get it). I got told not to spend so much time reading, or on my computer, or whatever and do more exercise (which I did try, but it tended to result in more pain than less a lot of the time). When I said that something made it hurt, I was told, 'well don't do that'. It wasn't till I was about 16 that I saw a doctor for it, and she didn't know what it was, I was told that it wasn't arthritis and to take fish oil tablets (they are good for joints). They helped for a while, but the pains still got worse, and more things became difficult. I started karate, which I really enjoy, but had to be careful about how I did the exercises so I didn't cause to much pain.

That brings me to recently. About a month ago my shoulder started getting really bad (used to be mainly my knees and wrists). Then they started to clunk and click (hard to explain but obvious when you feel my shoulder as I move it). It took till last week for anyone to take it seriously, and finally I was booked in for another doctors appointment. (I should probably point out as well that most people when I tried to tell them I had joint problems told me I was too young for that, and so by their logic apparently I don't have it! Still trying to figure out that logic). Well the doctor basically said the same thing, too young to have it, but he sent me to get scans anyway (shoulder ultrasounds). Guess what, turns out there is something wrong with my shoulders! (Hence the 'Not all in my head' comment!).

I felt like crying with relief knowing that now I won't have to just live with joint pain for no reason (later I felt like crying again when I realised how long it could take to treat, possibly six months, because it has been so painful I am having trouble sleeping)

Apparently I have a problem with the layer between the muscles in my shoulder, called the Bursa, which is supposed to help the muscles move past each other properly. Mine is too thick and is taking up too much space, meaning that the muscles can't move properly. (Hard to explain it very well when I don't entirely understand how it works myself yet!). So now I have proof of a problem existing, now maybe I can find out why. I also had x-rays taken, to see if there are any other problems, but I won't find out about that till my next appointment. At least it is treatable, so that is something to be thankful for, of course they will still have to work out what caused it in the first place (it is usually caused by an injury, but I have never had a shoulder injury) and whether the rest of my joints are suffering the same thing (definitely ruling out the injury theory!).

Thankfully, as well as now having a start for working out the problem, I now know that I can take anti-inflammatories to help with the pain (although only mild ones unfortunately due to the other medication I already take)

I really hope that it doesn't take too long to sort out, I don't know if I would handle it very well if I was told that I will just have to live with this, so lets hope it all works out

An Email Sent to Me That Deserves To Be Shared

2009-09-29T15:39:00.002+11:00

The crocheted tablecloth

Beautiful story.... makes you understand that things happen for a reason…

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

B y this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. 'Pastor,' she asked, 'where did you get that tablecloth?'

The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there.. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

T he woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week..

He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike.

H e told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

H e helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid

Who says God does not work in mysterious ways..

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares you know He will see us through..

So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best.. Just remember I'm here praying and God will do the rest.

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-09-26T08:00:00.001+11:00

Here are some computer errors you might like!

Contact Lenses

2009-09-22T15:58:00.003+11:00

I am getting contact lenses! I have never even wanted contact lenses before, but since I have started Karate, they have seemed more and more like a smart idea. Especially during grappling I am at quite a significant disadvantage, because I have to take off my glasses, and so I can't see my opponent properly, which makes it hard to dodge, and perform, take downs. It is also annoying during training, because I have to keep putting them on when they are demonstrating a move, then take them off again to try it.

I had mentioned this to mum, but she didn't really take me seriously, until she (and dad and my sister and all her friends) came to watch me at a club grappling tournament (did I mention I went in a grappling tournament? I lost, but that's because I got a lousy draw and had to fight a black belt then a brown belt and I'm a white belt! I still put up a good fight though!) that they realised that contacts really were needed.

So this week I am getting my contacts! Today was my first lesson to practice putting them in and taking them out (you have to show you can do it safely before they let you take them home), and I was pretty good at it, so I should be able to take them home tomorrow!

It was very weird though, after all I have had to wear glasses full time since I was about 10 (I'm now 18), and I have needed to wear them nearly all the time since years before that. So to be able to see without the rims of my glasses in my vision was really bizarre, and even weirder was being able to see myself without glasses, because normally I can't see well enough without my glasses to see myself without my glasses!

I am starting to see why people who get contact lenses end up wearing them all the time, but at the same time, I don't think I want to, even though it was almost disappointing to put my glasses back on and loose the range of vision they gave me. I am now noticing my frames like I haven't noticed them in years. But my glasses have been part of me for so long, that I don't know that I want to give them up. It is a bit like how people have asked me if I would get rid of my tourettes if I could, and to be honest, as much as it annoys me, I don't think I would. It is a part of me, and it has helped to define who I am, to make me the person I am, and my glasses are the same. Still, wait and see, I may change my mind, I might get used to the idea of me without glasses, or I might not!

What about you? Do you wear glasses, or contacts, or both?
Do you have something in your life that sometimes you hate, but when you think about it you wouldn't give it up if given the choice?

A story to bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your heart

2009-09-20T15:39:00.001+11:00

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-09-19T08:00:00.001+11:00

Civilisation As We Know It



RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk.



DICTATORSHIP: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.



SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. The government fines you for
illegally keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.



PURE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.



REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours pick someone
through a vote to tell you who gets the milk.



AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote
for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in
cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".



BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they
go mad. The government doesn't do anything.



BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you
can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the
milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for
the missing cows.



CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull which you use to
breed the other cow as well as every other cow in the area. Then you start
exporting from the bull to emerging markets. After several years of
expansion, your company issues an IPO to be listed on the NYSE. The SEC
eventually instigates legal proceedings against you and your spouse for
insider trading. After a lengthy court battle, you are found guilty and
sentenced to 10 years in prison, of which you actually serve 7 weeks. When
you come out of prison, you buy 2 chickens. Then . . .



HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all 4 cows back with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to
a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who
sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company and
proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the
company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2
cows because the feng shui is bad.



ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have 2 cows. The government bans you from milking or
killing them.



FEMINISM: You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.



TOTALITARIANISM: Your have 2 cows. The government takes them and denies
they ever existed. Milk is banned.



POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership"
is a symbol of the war-mongerism, intolerant past) 2 differently aged (but
no less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.



COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like ... these 2 cows, man. You got to
have some of this milk!



SURREALISM: You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.



LIBERTY: Whatever.

Foster Kittens!! So Cute!!

2009-09-14T16:05:00.003+11:00

My friend is currently fostering 5 RSPCA kittens, and they are sooo cute! I knew you would want to see them, so I tried to take some photos for you (they don't like to sit still, and half the time I was laughing to hard to hold the camera still, so they are a bit blury!)

Meet Kochanski, Ziva, Lister, Vivyan and Daniel (And yes my friend and I like TV shows to much! lol)

This is Lister, who fell asleep on my lap mid play!

This is Vivyan (the mostly white one) and Daniel, who's wrestly match I have just disrupted with the flash

And this is Ziva (front) and Kochanski (back) trying their best to distract my friend from her computer

Kochanski has a go at typing!

The rest of the photos were to blury from laughing, or movement, so these will have to do for now! Aren't they adorable!

Social Vibe

2009-09-05T15:19:00.002+11:00

As you might have noticed I have added the Social Vibe gadget to my page. I like the idea that my blog and the people who visit it can help people out there! It was a tough choice to pick a charity, so at the moment I am supporting Camfed, though I will probably change it fairly regularly so we can help other causes! I will post to tell you when I change charities so you can support them too! I hope you all get involved, because it really is a good cause, I think!

Are you going to use Social Vibe on your blogs? What do you think about it?

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-09-05T08:00:00.000+11:00

Rules of the Universe; 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.; 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.; 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.; 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.; 5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.; 6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.; 7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.; 8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.; 9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.; 10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.; 11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.; 12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.; 13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.; 14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.; 15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.; 16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.; 17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks (hours?) before you need it.; 18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.; 19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.; 20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.; 21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.; 22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.; 23. It ain't the jeans that make your backside look fat.; 24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'; 25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.; 26. You should not confuse your career with your life.; 27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.; 28. Never lick a steak knife.; 29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.; 30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.; 31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.; 32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.; 33. Your friends love you anyway.; 34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.; 35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
: 36. Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-08-29T08:00:00.000+11:00

Murphy's Laws for Combat Operations

1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
a. When they're ready.
b. When you're not.
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
22. The easy way is always mined.
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
34. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both).
37. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
39. Tracers work both ways.
40. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
45. Weather ain't neutral.
46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go'.
49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
55. The one item you need is always in short supply.
56. Interchangeable parts aren't.
57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
65. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
66. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
69. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
77. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
81. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
82. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
83. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
84. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
85. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
86. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
87. Murphy was a grunt.
88. Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
89. Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
91. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
93. The crucial round is a dud.
94. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
95. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
96. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
97. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
98. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
99. If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
100. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
102. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
104. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
105. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
106. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
109. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
110. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
111. Walking point = sniper bait.
112. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
113. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
114. Radios function perfectly until you need fire support.
115. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.
116. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
117. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud.
118. Mine fields are not neutral.
119. The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it.
120. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
121. If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap.
122. The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it.
123. Professionals are predictable, its the amateurs that are dangerous.
124. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
125. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
126. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. (or "on order")
127. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
128. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring,
he has fallen back too far.
129. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
130. If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.
131. Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
132. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
133. If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't.
134. The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
135. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
136. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.
137 When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be to long
138 Smart bombs have bad days too.
139 Uncrating and assembly instructions are always inside the crate.
140 If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict.
141 If you enter the CO's Presence with an idea, you will leave his Presence with the CO's idea.

Sickness and Stargate

2009-08-27T17:45:00.002+11:00

Well, I less to do, I just didn't quite plan on it happening quite this soon! I have caught the flu off one of my friends, so I have spent today and yesterday doing almost nothing, and will probably be doing the same tomorrow. That would be great if it was simply because I wasn't busy, as it is it is more annoying and frustrating than anything else, because I can't do many productive things at home either. Instead I am missing out on work experience at the vets, fun at Karate and time spent with friends and family (cause they don't want to catch what I've got).

I am very thankful, therefore, that I have been borrowing Stargate from one of my friends (kinda ironically the one who gave me the flu!), so I can keep myself occupied for hours watching that. Unfortunately I finished the season she gave me this week by yesterday night, so today I have to admit that I got desperate enough to go YouTubing. Yep, I am not usually that interested in YouTube. I will look at the occasional funny clip that someone else has found, but this is the first time that I have actually gone YouTube Surfing! And it wasn't an entire waste of time, either! I found quite a few funny and interesting Stargate related clips. I especially liked some of the actor interviews I found, because I love seeing how things are done in movies and TV (I always watch the special features on DVDs! They are one of the main reasons I love DVD's over videos!), for me it doesn't ruin the magic, in fact it is the oposite, I love it even more when I know the effort/ingenuity that it took to make the movie look like that! You learn some interesting things too, like the fact that in Charlie's Angels (the movie) they actually blew up a building on set! (That's one of my favourites!) I also love seeing how much of it is not scripted or planned, but simply happens by accident or as a joke and is kept!

What about you? Do you like to know how things are done, or do you like the mystery? Have you learnt any facinating facts about movies? and what do you do to keep occupied when you are sick?

I'm Still Here!

2009-08-23T13:07:00.005+11:00

Hi everyone, I am still here I promise! I have just been incredibly busy lately! As you will remember from one of my last posts I started Karate a bit over a month ago, and I really enjoyed it! I now go three nights a week, as well as doing Grappling one night a week. It is a great work out, and lots of fun! Plus everyone is really friendly, and more than a little nuts, which means I fit in great lol! I also managed to get my two days a week work experience that I had been stressing about, at least until the end of this term, so I am currently trying to get work again :( I am still doing two days a week at the RSPCA as well, so as you can see I don't get a lot of time to blog at the moment! Any time my computer gets turn on it is to do study.

I have been quite enjoying my Veterinary Nursing course, although, like any course these days, there is quite a gap between the theory and reality in some of the topics! This course was definitely designed for clinics with a whole lot more time and money than any of the ones around here!

So what have you guys been up to this month? I have been trying to catch up everyone's blogs but it's taking me a while! Hopefully I will be able to post more often now!

Men's Demerit Guide

2009-08-22T22:42:00.000+11:00

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed.....+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1

You leave the toilet seat up.....-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings......+5

In the snow .....+8

But return with beer.....-5

And no liners.....-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5

You pummel it with a six iron.....+10

It's her cat.....-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party.....0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College

drinking buddy.....-2

Named Tiffany.....-4

Tiffany is a dancer.....-10

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday.....0

You buy a card and flowers.....0

You take her out to dinner.....0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1

Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3

It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal.....0

The pal is happily married.....+1

The pal is single.....-7

He drives a Ferrari.....-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie.....+2

You take her to a movie she likes.....+4

You take her to a movie you hate.....+6

You take her to a movie you like.....-2

It's called Death Cop III.....-3

Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy

Hawaiian shirts.....-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-500

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in

responding.....-10

You reply, "Where?".....-35

You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"......-100

Any other response.....-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0

You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50

You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her

saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100

You have fallen asleep.....-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

You talk.....-100

You don't talk.....-150

You spend time with her......-200

You don't spend time with her.....-500

You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000

Game Over - YOU LOSE

2009-08-15T08:00:00.000+11:00

Weather forecast - the Australian way

It was April and the Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he had an idea.
He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'
The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.'

So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The elder again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' he asked.

'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the elder asked.

The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.'

Funny and Cute!

2009-08-09T14:20:00.002+11:00

You should duck over to A Fish's Beach Wishes and look at this post! It is so funny, and so true!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-08-08T08:00:00.000+11:00

A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from
Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks" Excuse
me father, may I ask a favour of you?"

"Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies. "Here's the dilemma,
I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money
for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I
fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me
under your robes?"

I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie..."
"You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you,"
and with that she hands him the hair remover.

After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's
turn in line. "Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the
Custom's officer. "From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to
declare my son."

Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask,
"And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?" The
father replies, "I have a marvellous little instrument destined to be
used on a woman, but which has never yet been used..." Roaring with
laughter the Custom's officer says, "Go right through father. Next!"

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-08-01T08:00:00.000+11:00

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.


The Bear states: "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire
forest is shivering with fear."


The Lion not to be beaten says: "And if I roar on the great plains of
Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me."


Then the chicken matter of factly says: "Big deal. I only have to cough,
and the entire planet wets itself."

Smart Retirement Plan!!

2009-07-31T18:50:00.001+11:00

A Well-Planned Retirement - From The London Times

Outside the Bristol Zoo in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches or buses.

It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then one day, he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well," said Bristol Zoo management, "we'd better phone up the city council and get them to send a new parking attendant."

"Err, no," said the council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."

"Err, no," said Bristol Zoo management, "the attendant was employed by the city council, wasn't he?"

"Err, no!" insisted the council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (presumably) is a man who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about $560) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million ($7 million - or $280,000 every year for 25 years)!

And no one even knows his name.

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-07-25T08:00:00.000+11:00

Why Women Are Crabby

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that
anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad
it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training
bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on
our backs.



Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with
those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies,
had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.



Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the
first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his
little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.



Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers
and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over
Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we
learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have
Rosemary's Baby.



Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we
peed our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in
our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the
mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the
way to the ER.



Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar.  Calm down and push.  Just one more good push
(more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.



After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.



Then come their "Teen Years."  Need I say more?



When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in
our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.



So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of
all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July,
wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that
moves.



Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off
so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the
woods without soaking their socks...



So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a
tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?  Yeah right.  Bite me.

Busy Bee!

2009-07-24T18:38:00.002+11:00

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't posted this week, I haven't had a chance!

I went to visit my grandparents at the start of the week, then started my work experience at the vets.

I love spending time with my grandparents, unfortunately they live five hours away, in Canberra, so we don't get to see them as often as I, and they, would like. So it was nice to be able to spend a few days with them, even if it was because Dad has injured his wrist so he has a few weeks of work, and it is also school and TAFE holidays.

Grandma and I spent a morning shopping (her favourite past time not mine, but it is still a chance to spend time with her), then spent the afternoon at the War Memorial. I love the War Memorial, especially with Grandma, because she adds her memories to the exhibits. Amazingly one of the new ones turned out to be about a group of war pilots which my cousins grandpa was part of!

I also got to see some of my cousins, and spent the evening with my other grandma, so it was a great couple of days!

Then today and yesterday I was at the vets, starting my work experience, which has been good, I even got to see eye surgery being done yesterday!

Tomorrow I am off to Orange for the day to start my Veterinary Nursing course, so that should be good! (Apart from the fact that Orange is going to be freezing! Orange has the worst weather!)

Oh, and I have been really enjoying Karate! It is hard work, but great exercise and really good fun!

Hope you have all had productive weeks too! I will try to post more frequently next week!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-07-18T08:00:00.000+11:00

School Days.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her sixth-grade
class. Because it was a long assignment, she started writing high up on
the chalkboard. Suddenly, she heard someone giggling behind her. She
quickly turned around and asked, "What's so funny, Chuckie?"
"I just saw one of your garters," Chuckie admitted, wide-eyed.
"Get out of my classroom!" the teacher yelled. "I don't want to see you
for three days!" Turning back to the chalkboard, she realized that she
forgot to title the assignment, so she reached to the very top of the
board. This time, there was an even louder giggle. The teacher demanded,
"What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters," the boy replied.
"Get out of my classroom!" the teacher roared. "And I don't want to see
you for three weeks!"  Flustered, the teacher dropped the eraser. When
she bent over to pick it up, there was a burst of laughter. She quickly
turned to see Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.
"Based on what I just saw," Johnny answered, grinning from ear to ear,
"my school days are over!"

Karate

2009-07-15T11:48:00.002+11:00

I have started Karate this week! It is good fun, but definitely hard work! I had my first lesson on Monday evening, and all my muscles are sore this morning! I am going again this evening, and hopefully I will not be as sore tomorrow (or the next day!)

Have you ever tried Karate, or something like it? How did you go?

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-07-11T08:00:00.000+11:00

LOGIC

Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar,
drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going
through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the
community college and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Jim goes
down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up
for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed-eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weed-eater, I think that you have a
yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a
heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing!.. you were able to find out all of
that because I have a weed-eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to
meet Bob at the bar.

He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English,
history and logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed-eater?"

"No."

"Then you're gay."

Itty Bitty Kitty Committee

2009-07-09T18:41:00.002+11:00

Anyone who hasn't heard yet, The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee is currently fund raising for the Humane Society, so duck over there and help out!

Wow!

2009-07-07T17:13:00.004+11:00

A friend sent me this, all I can say is wow!

Oh to be in Holland, now that Spring is here

With more than 10,000 hectares devoted to the cultivation of these delicate flowers, the Dutch landscape in May is a kaleidoscope of giddy colours as the tulips burst into life.

The bulbs were planted in late October and early November, and these colourful creations are now ready to be picked and sold as bunches of cut flowers in florists and supermarkets.

More than three billion tulips are grown each year and two-thirds of the vibrant blooms are exported, mostly to the U.S. and Germany.

In the first picture, an extraordinary 60 million tulips can be seen coming into flower.

The fields of northern Holland explode into a colourful springtime display
Their dazzling colours are thanks to the years in the 17th century when Tulipmania swept the globe and the most eye-catching specimens changed hands for a small fortune.
But like a rainbow, this colourful landscape is a short-lived phenomenon.
When the flowers are gone, the land will be cultivated for a rather more mundane crop of vegetables.

... and a view from eye-level

Oh for a Quiet Black Out!

2009-07-05T13:34:00.002+11:00

Any one else remember the days when a black out meant silence and using candles to get around? OK, so I only vaguely remember it myself, but still, I do remember a few times when I was little that we had black outs and had to use lots of candles because we only had a couple of torches.

That soon changed, with the arrival of phones with batteries connected wirelessly to a base. Now when the power went out the phones kept beeping, to say they couldn't connect to the base, until the power came back on (When we had a long blackout we had to stuff them in pillows or the back of the cupboard to stop us going mad!)

And now the power is out (I am using my laptop on battery, another thing we couldn't do then! Board games and books then!) and I am once more being driven nuts by a barrage of bleeping beeps! And this time I can't hide them in the cupboard.

I could tell as soon as the power went, the washing machines alarm went off before it died, my computer came up with a bunch of messages saying the power was disconected, the smoke alarms started beeping every minute, the UPS (uniterupted power supply) under the desk (to keep the phone and computer working for a while) started beeping every 15 seconds, and the UPS above the TV started going Beeep, Beeep, Beeep every 30 seconds.

Now after about 45 minutes the UPS under the desk has started a constant beep to tell me it is running low!

Oh, thank goodness, the power just came back on! Now it is back to just the noise of the washing machine. I really don't think I could have coped with all the beeping for much longer!

A Good Cause

2009-07-05T08:00:00.000+11:00

Surfing the net the other day I found this site about Companion Dogs being trained to help people with disabilities. I think that they are brilliant! These dogs can be trained to help deaf people - alerting them to certain sounds, people in wheelchairs - they can pick things up, turn on switches, carry things and even help pull wheelchairs, and autistic people. You can read about some of the people they have helped here.

I would love to help with a program like that, pity it is American based. Being a puppy raiser would be fun!

Anyway, seeing as it is mainly run with the help of donations, I thought that I would spread the word about it's existence, and maybe some of you would like to help them out!

Love it!

2009-07-04T13:40:00.002+11:00

I really love this scheduled posting thing! My joke was on the site before I even got up this morning! lol

It also means that I will no longer have clumps of posts then nothing then another clump... which is always good!

In case you were curious which posts I post when I write them and which are scheduled, it is easy to tell, anything posted at 8am...well I'm probably not out of bed yet!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-07-04T08:00:00.000+11:00

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in

Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43AM EST

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I

hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after

you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that

evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my girlfriend had

just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas,

and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.

Beautiful pistol, eh?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at

your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun

walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge

flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you

also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I

couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try

to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"

as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your

situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas

station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy

with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go

Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

I threw the wallet

in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the

windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a

bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your

bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down

the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so

I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't

permanently cut off your service.

I could only get in two threatening

phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy

was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead

making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll

reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..

- Alex

P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!

Who decided that life couldn't be fair, I need to vent some anger at them!

2009-07-03T17:52:00.002+11:00

I know that life isn't fair, everyone seems to know that, but WHY, WHY can't life be fair! WHY is that so much to ask for. How come when I put in so much more effort that others do I end up the one sitting in the mud?

OK, a little background to my rant, for those of you who aren't aware I am studying to become a Veterinary Nurse, I have just finished Animal Studies which is required before I start and have just been accepted into Veterinary Studies by Flexible delivery (meaning I only have to travel to Orange once a month instead of every week). Here's the problem, in order to do this course you have to be doing two days a week work experience at a Vet Clinic to complete the practical aspect of the course. I have been aware of this for months and so put in my applications for work MONTHS AGO because there are only four Vets in Dubbo, and only three worth working for. I was the ONLY one in my Animal Studies class to do so.

All three vets told me that they should be able to give me at least one day, which is fine because it doesn't matter if your two days are at different places, so long as you have them.

Now I am trying to get definite days because the course starts in under a month, and I CANT GET ANY WORK! One of the vets (who I did my Animal Studies work experience with) has decided they aren't taking any work experience students from Vet Nursing, despite the fact that LAST WEEK they told me they could almost definitely give me one day, and could probably give me two, another lost my application and has given their days to other people who DIDN'T put in an application early, they just went in and asked, NO ONE could give me definite days any time I asked, and the other one the person who organises work experience is away FOR TWO WEEKS!

So I called my Animal Studies teacher to ask what I can do if I can't get any days before the class starts, and she is going to try and get my some days in Narromine (better than nothing I guess), which is OK, except that apparently nearly the entire rest of my class has their days organised already.

Which brings me back to my original comment WHY CANT LIFE BE FAIR, I cannot believe that when I am the only one who thought ahead and applied for days early, not at the last minute, AND I HAVE BEEN LEFT OUT!! I am not a violent person, but right now I really feel like hitting someone or something, thus I want to know who decided to make life unfair and take out my anger and upsettness out on them!

Women

2009-06-28T19:53:00.000+11:00

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,

"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,

have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable

and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,

have a lap that can hold four children at one time,

have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart

-and she will do everything

with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

"Only two hands!? No way!

And that's just on the standard model?

That's too much work for one day.

Wait until tomorrow to finish."

But I won't," the Lord protested.

"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

She already heals herself when she is sick

AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed,

"but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied,

"Not only will she be able to think,

she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something,

and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.

I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak,"

the Lord corrected,

"that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,

her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,

her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.

"You are a genius, Lord.

You thought of everything!

Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness,

love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

PLEASE pass this along to all your women friends and relatives

to remind them just how amazing they are ..

Scheduled Posting!

2009-06-28T19:42:00.002+11:00

I have learnt how to schedule posts to appear at a later date! This is great because it means that now I can fix up my jokes in advance and not have to remember to do it on a Saturday! So now they wont keep being forgotten or posted on a Sunday! YAY!

A Joke for your Saturday! (and yes I realise it's now Sunday! (again...))

2009-06-28T19:36:00.000+11:00

Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Kevin if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.

So Kevin asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy.'

No, said Kevin - that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy'

I'm afraid not, explained Kevin - that's what we would call great loss'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Kevin searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand..

In a quiet voice he said: 'If A plane carrying you and Julia Gillard was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Kevin. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says little Johnny 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a
accident either!'

Organ Donation

2009-06-24T18:46:00.003+11:00

It has been a long while since I found an article worth mentioning, but this one I think is worth it

I think that organ donation is a wonderful idea, especially after death (after all we don't need them then, do we!) but living donation is even more special!

I would be willing to donate if I was ever asked, and I can only hope that someone else will feel the same if I ever need one! (Lets hope not!)

All my family agrees with organ donation, my parents have even requested that when they die (lets hope not for a LOT of years) they want their bodies donated to science to help even more people

What about you? What is your opinion on organ or body donation? Are you a registered donor?

A Shrine to Lost Socks!

2009-06-24T18:27:00.001+11:00

Any one else wondering where the pairs all go?

Random Pics Found of My Computer

2009-06-22T15:23:00.003+11:00

A Joke for your Saturday! (and yes I realise it's now Sunday!)

2009-06-21T17:19:00.000+11:00

SENILITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

The Seed

2009-06-19T19:15:00.000+11:00

A successful business man was growing old and
knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children,
he decided to do something different. He called all the young
executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.
I have decided to choose one of you. "

The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one
of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.

I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others,
received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the
story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted
the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had
grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began
to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.
By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have
a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he
had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but
he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however.
He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the
seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.
But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick
to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment
of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot
to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety
of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful --
in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and
many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.

He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened
to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

* If you plant faith in God , you will reap a harvest

So, be careful what you plant now;
it will determine what you will reap later..

" Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back"

I Haven't Abandoned You!

2009-06-13T15:28:00.002+11:00

As you may have noticed I have been absent from the blogging world for over a week now! To be honest I have barely turned on my computer in that long! (Quite a achievement really)

So for those of you who have been wondering what I have been up to lately, here are some of the things I have been doing that have been keeping me away from my computer!

- Braille. I learnt braille earlier this year, because I help teach scripture at a local school and one of the students in the class I help in is totally blind, and I want to be able to create activities (or modify the ones the rest of the class does) so that he gets the most out of scripture. Plus I love language, and learning braille fits in very nicely there! I really enjoy braille! Unfortunately there are very few braille resources around here, and they are very expensive, so I have been making my own using paper and fabric paint (any one with blind kids, or adults for that matter, that stuff works wonders! You can make pictures, games, braille and lots of other things which they can easily feel and use!). The problem with that is it is very time consuming way of creating braille, because you have to put every single dot of paint onto the page one at a time very carefully so that they are reasonably similar dots and don't run together! I have now ordered a proper braille slate, but I have ordered it from Europe via free shipping (it only cost $18 that way, as apposed to $55 from an Australian company (how that works I have no idea!!)) which means I will have to wait till August for it to arrive, so more dotting yet!!

- Donating blood. Or at least trying to... apparently I have inherited my mothers low iron levels, so I couldn't donate and can't try again for six months :(

- Working at a Vets. Yay! I had my first day working at a vet practice this week! (For those of you who don't know I am studying to become a Vet Nurse) It was great! (if a little overwhelming at times!) I have wanted to be a vet for as long as I can remember, so this was so cool!

- Practicing Piano. My sister and Mum are annoyingly good at pretty much anything musical (or artistic for that matter), and I'm not. As hard as I try I don't think I will ever be on the same level as them, but I have fun trying, and I have finally begun to get the hang of Chords! The challenge now is to be able to play the chords and notes together!

Today, however, I am having a nice lazy day (cause everyone deserves one of those occasionally!) and have taken the opportunity to catch up with everyone's blogs (almost!) and add to mine!

Hope you all had great weeks too!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-06-13T13:09:00.003+11:00

Sorry for no joke last week!

Signs Worth Reading!!

Pastor Brenton

2009-05-31T15:50:00.002+11:00

Pastor Brenton is the best minister! He is the minister of our church, as well as four other churches in our region (there aren't a lot of Lutheran Pastors willing to come to rural NSW, and we aren't even that rural!). This means that he is very busy and we are one of the only churches in Dubbo to only have one service a week, but that's OK, because he makes the most of every minute! He has amazing sermons, and he always tries to use props or stories to make it easy to understand, for example when he was talking about Jesus and the Lepers he had a (empty!) sharps container and a chemical waste bag at the front of the church surrounded by bright orange bunting with a flashing light on top, and he was wearing a safety vest over his robes!

But the best part is the kids address, where he simplifies one of the main points of the sermon for the young kids (we don't have sunday school). They may be aimed at the kids, but everyone loves them. They often involve making or doing something, thus far they have made perfume, bread, paper chains, bionicles, and many more things! Today he was teaching about how the Holy Spirit gave the deciples the power to preach to the people...by mixing bi-carb soda (the deciples) with vinegar (the Holy Spirit) in a film canister, making it fly into the air, to show how without the Holy Spirit the deciples couldn't do anything!

Do you like your minister? What do they do to get your attention?

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-30T17:27:00.000+11:00

Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld is giving Prez George Bush his daily Iraq briefing. He ends the report by saying glumly,"And its my unpleasant duty to report that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in a bomb attack, Mr President". "Oh No!" Bush cries in horror. "That's really terrible!" Rumsfeld is stunned by this unusual display of emotion by Bush. He watches nervously as Bush sits quietly , his head in his hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks "How many is a brazzillion ?"

About Me

2009-05-28T19:08:00.005+11:00

Hi everyone, I have decided to try and share some of my experiences with you, so before I start I thought you might like to know a bit more about me! So here are some facts about me:

- I am 18, but everyone thinks I look about 23! (there are some funny stories there, but they can wait till next post!)
- I have one younger sister, who is entirely different to me, but we get along OK, most of the time
- I live with my mum, dad and sister
- I still have 4 grandparents and 2 great grandparents, as well as 2 uncles (+two by marriage, now divorced but we keep in touch with one), 3 Aunts (+ one by marriage and one honorary), 6 cousins, and lots of other non direct relatives
- I have Tourettes Syndrome and Aspergers
- I am currently studying at TAFE to become a Veterinary Nurse

- I love reading, I can read at 500 words per minute and I will read almost anything
- I love computers, and can even do basic programing
- I can read grade one braille, and some grade two braille
- I am love languages and I am learning Spanish and Hebrew
- I would love to learn sign language
- I love learning in general!
- I like to watch the news every night

So there you go! If there is anything else you would like to know ask and I will try to answer!

Lifehouse, Everything Skit

2009-05-26T12:37:00.009+11:00

You may have seen this before, but if you haven't, you should. There are a number of versions on the net, but this is one of the better ones.

This skit, and song, are incredibly moving.

I admit, the first time I saw it that wasn't my opinion. At the time I had been told that we were going to perform this skit for the youth at the camp I was helping lead, and to be honest I was thinking that this was ridiculous, and we were going to look ridiculous waving our arms around like that. I wasn't alone in this opinion either, but we agreed to try.

My part was greed, the one with the money, and for the first couple of practices I didn't really understand the skit yet, and I was having a lot of trouble keeping a serious face and not laughing, and once again I wasn't the only one. It didn't help that I am definitely Not a drama kind of person

However, as we continued practicing, I begun to see beyond the arm waving, to the message that the skit was conveying. We had to learn the words of the song (or at least sections of them, though I ended up learning all of it) so that we knew when to come on and when to go off, and I begun to see how moving the words are (I recommend listening to it a few times and focusing on the words). I also began to see the seriousness of the actions, and realise that although I have been blessed with a fairly trouble free life, this was a reality for many people, including the girl in our group who was playing the main girl. Although I didn't find this out until later, you could see it in the emotions she poured into her part, the anger, the confusion and the fear were those of someone who had been there.

And from then on I no longer had any problems with playing my part to the best of my abilities, because I know that it took me quite a while to come to this realisation, but the kids we would be performing it for, they would only see it once, and so we had to make that one viewing as meaningful as we possibly could, so that they might gain as much understanding as possible.

And I believe we succeeded, I don't think there was anyone in the room who wasn't moved, however actually being a part of the skit had given us a much greater understanding, and I learnt things that I will never forget.

I finally saw the true meaning behind it, that God will always be there for us no matter what we do, or say, or think, he will forgive us, all we have to do is let him in.

So when you watch the skit, really think about it, listen to the words, and try to understand the feeling involved.

You may also want to watch this one, and think about the facts presented at the end, it is terrifying and thought provoking, and it makes me even more determined to help the next generation of young people in any way I can

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-23T14:39:00.000+11:00

These are said to be actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the
New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but,boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together .

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around
the country:

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

For anyone else who really needs a laugh after a long week!

2009-05-22T15:15:00.002+11:00

WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by Grade Two school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us..

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from mens' bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mum?

1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mum marry your Dad?

1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot.

2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Mums & Dads?

1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.

2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mum do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't have spare time.

2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mum perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me..

3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING --

SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!

(It was too good to wait till tomorrow!!)

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-16T11:18:00.000+11:00

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-10T13:13:00.001+11:00

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there! I hope you have a great day!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-09T18:49:00.002+11:00

A Lesson in Naval Logistics

On 23 August 1779, the USS Constitution set sail from Boston, loaded with 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of water, 74,000 cannon shot, 115,000 pounds of black powder and 79,000 gallons of rum.

Her mission: to destroy and harass English Shipping

On 6 October, she made Jamaica, took on 826 pounds of flour and 688,300 gallons of rum. Three weeks later, Constitution reached the Azores, where she provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England where her crew captured and scuttled 12 English merchant vessels and took aboard rum.

By this time, Constitution had run out of shot. Nevertheless, she made her way unarmed up the Firth of Clyde for a night raid. Here, her landing party captured a whiskey distillery, transferred 13,000 gallons aboard and headed for home.

On 20 February 1780, the Constitution arrived in Boston with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, and no whiskey.

She did, however, still carry her crew of 475 officers and men and 18,600 gallons of water. The math is quite enlightening:

Length of cruise: 181 days

Booze consumption: 1.26 gallons per man per day
(this DOES NOT include the unknown quantity of rum captured from the 12 English merchant vessels in November).

Naval historians note that the reenlistment rate from this cruise was 92%.

LOGISTICS LESSON LEARNED:
Don’t load up with too much water.

Waves

2009-05-08T15:16:00.011+11:00

These incredible images of waves were taken by the number 1 photographer of surf: Clark Little. He has dedicated his life to photographing the waves and has published a selection of the best images of his career.

Sun glints off wave

Sand in surf

Tubular shining

Beach surf crashes down

Molten liquid gold

White tumultuous water

Splash .. stunning shot

Red .. mysterious shot

Break wave crashes down

Thirty Day Challenge

2009-05-06T12:36:00.003+11:00

Last night at Toastmasters a friend of ours, who works at the hospital, told us the story of a man who had only thirty days left to live. He was dying of cancer, and yet, he had the most wonderful attitude to life. He had an infectious smile, and a personality you had to love. Instead of wallowing in the fact that he was going to die, he was making the most of every moment that he had left.

At the end of her speech she gave us a challenge, which I am going to pass on to you too, to make the most of the next thirty days of your life.

Here is what you need to do. Subtract your age from 100 (100 - 18 = 82), then multiply this number by 365 (82 x 365 = 29,930). This is a rough estimation of how many days you have left (with the positive attitude that we are all going to live to 100!). Now, write this number on a piece of paper and stick it somewhere you will see it every day (eg next to the bathroom mirror). For the next thirty days, every morning take one day from that number, and then make the most of that day, because you will never get it back.

Help the legacy of this mans carry on, and post this challenge on your blog so that others can join in, and make the most of every moment.

(I you do join in please comment, I would love to know how many people take part)

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-02T18:17:00.002+11:00

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

I thought I better give you two after not having one for a while!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-05-02T18:12:00.000+11:00

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office..

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that..

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that t he president's testicles were square

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!'

Important Information Curtesy of my Grandpa

2009-04-29T21:55:00.001+11:00

What NOT to do if you want to avoid the swine flu...

Guess What!!!

2009-04-27T15:40:00.002+11:00

I got my P Plates! I have only had my L's for over 2 years! Now it is only 2 years till I have a full license! My celebration may not have been very diet friendly, but oh well!

Butt Prints in the Sand

2009-04-24T11:44:00.003+11:00

I am sure you have all heard the poem, Footprints in the Sand, well this is a variation on it which I really like. Someone gave in to me a while ago, and I decided to share it!

Butt Prints in the Sand,
One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some strangers prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?
Those prints are large and round and neat,
But Lord, they are too big for feet."

"My child," he said in sombre tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

Post Easter Diet Needs Help!

2009-04-22T18:04:00.002+11:00

I have begun the post Easter diet...again. This happens every year, I manage to get a couple of kilos off, and then a holiday arrives, and the couple of kilos come back on. To be honest, I am starting to wonder if it is worth it, when I know what is going to happen. So now I am going to try a new approach. From now on there will be a new bar on the edge of my blog, where I will be telling you my diet progress. This will mean that if I "forget" to step on the scales after a bad day, you will be there to remind me, and help keep me from falling off the wagon.

So to start off, I would love to hear any simple, healthy recepies/snack idea that you guys might have! Or any other useful diet tips!

Maybe, with your help, this will be the year that I reach my goal, and stick to it!

Have you tested your hearing lately?

2009-04-22T14:15:00.001+11:00

I got mine checked today, and I am proud to say that my hearing is one hundred percent normal!

Have you had yours tested?

Relook at Priorities Required

2009-04-21T20:50:00.000+11:00

There has been a truck accident in NSW today, where the driver skidded off the edge of the road into a forested gully, killing the driver. What makes this even sadder is that the truck driver is the last thing on the mind of the media. Instead they are telling us about the long traffic delays it is causing, and the potential environmental impact of the spilt fuel. To me this signals a major fault of priorities

Where have I been!

2009-04-21T19:03:00.012+11:00

Hi everyone! As you may have noticed I haven't been here for a bit over a week now, that's because I have been in Queensland for a family get together and much needed holiday!

The family get together was in honor of my Great Grandma who has just turned 90! (You can expect to be listening to me for a long time yet! Longevity runs in the family!) Not only that she is still sharp enough that she organised her own birthday lunch, with 90 guests!

We stayed with her for a few days, enjoying her company...and of course the gorgeous beach that is right across the road! Great Grandma lives literally right next door to one of the most wonderful beaches I have ever seen!

And because she lives in Queensland, while we were there we decided to spend some time at the Gold Coast, and visit Dreamworld - the only theme park that we had not yet visited yet, and Dracula's - A themed theater restaurant.

Dreamworld, unfortunately, was very disappointing and from now on we are sticking to the other theme parks. Dreamworld may be a bit cheaper, but there are less rides, they aren't as good and the lines are appalling. If you are going to the Gold coast go to Movie World! (or Sea world, or Wet and Wild, they are good too!)

Dracula's, on the other hand, was great! (Although not for the faint hearted (or under under 15's)) The show was very funny, and the food was great! My dad loved the fact that in order to get drinks you had to yell for your waiter (all of whom were dressed up as various people, including Captain Jack Sparrow and Sweeney Tod), he had some interesting yelling matches with ours (Gargoyle).

While we were there we also decided to book into a dolphin watching snorkeling and kayaking tour, it was great fun (even if my shoulders are still sore from the paddling!)

A Joke for your Saturday! ...A day late!

2009-04-05T16:35:00.000+11:00

Wisdom

Love is grand! Divorce is a hundred grand!

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.

There will always be death and taxes; However, death doesn't get worse every year.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

It' s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.

I smile because I am your friend! I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.

I need some advice...

2009-04-02T16:00:00.004+11:00

After much denial, I have finally accepted that my father is racist. This is a part of him that I am not proud of, and he has not got the not so subtle hints that we don't think it is acceptable. Now, as much as that annoyed me, I admit that I have kinda let it go. But not anymore. What changed my mind? A comment that my younger sister made at McDonald's the other day when a group of Aboriginal girls walked in. Fortunately she said it much quieter than Dad tends to, but she still said it, and didn't seem to understand why I did NOT find it funny, and did NOT think it was acceptable. I tried to tell Dad that he needs to stop being so judgmental of people (I know still kinda in denial), because she is now picking it up. His response, to laugh and say that it was probably true.

What am I supposed to do!? I can't tell her off, she would just laugh in my face, and he doesn't seem to see the problem!

I feel kinda bad putting this problem to you guys, but I need some advice!

(I should also point out that my Mum has also tried to help, but, again, he just doesn't seem to see that there is a problem with the comments he makes)

20 Ridiculous Comments Made By Holidaymakers

2009-03-29T15:39:00.006+11:00

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

The beach was too sandy.

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time

Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.

We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake

No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.

It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home

My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked

I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller

The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?

There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners

We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white

We had to queue outside with no air conditioning

It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel

I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite

I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts

It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned

On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all

We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels

Another Joke! (and tell me honestly which floor you stopped at!)

2009-03-29T12:08:00.001+11:00

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street

The first floor has wives that love sex.

T he second floor has wives that love sex, like beer and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Cute Food For Thought

2009-03-28T12:45:00.003+11:00

I have been a busy blogger today! Anyway, here is a cute picture for you to ponder

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-03-28T10:19:00.001+11:00

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? Tha t's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty ye ars.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Loss of Inocent Excitement

2009-03-28T10:01:00.002+11:00

The other day we got another one of those "You have won $______" letters, you know, the ones where you might go into the draw to maybe win the money if you buy some expensive item. And when I saw it, there was no excitement whatsoever, no "Maybe this time it actually means it!" and it was kinda sad, because I used to get so much excitement out of them, even as I searched for the fine print, hoping that maybe it wasn't there. Even when I couldn't find it the first couple of times I looked through it, nothing, not a single "This is it!" butterfly. Eventually I found the fine print, "you could go in the draw if you buy this watch worth ___ and sign up for __" and tossed it out.

It comes as a reminder that we should try and find joy and excitement in the little things, I think

Do you remember a time like this?

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-03-21T11:35:00.002+11:00

Why you should check your children's homework...

Less posts

2009-03-20T11:33:00.001+11:00

I have realised that the main reason I have begun to find it harder to find things to blog about, is because I blog!

Let me explain, before I started blogging a lot of my time on the net was spent searching for articles I found interesting, unfortunately noone here at home thought they were as interesting as I did. So I started blogging, so that I could find other people who thought the same things were interesting. However, I soon discovered that half the fun of blogging is checking out everyone else's blogs, and all of a sudden I no longer have the time to go news surfing!

So be patient if it takes a while for me to post these days, now I have to find the interesting parts of my own life! Shocking! LOL

While I am here I would just like to say thank you to all of you who read my blog, after all, you are the reason I started!

Bringing Up Baby

2009-03-09T17:06:00.002+11:00

Has anyone else been watching this on ABC on Thursdays? It is very interesting, although I disagree with some of the techniques used, particularly ignoring babies when they are crying and not cuddling or talking to them between feeds. This article agrees

I do however like some of the other ideas, such as the use of a sling (although not 24/7).

I think that the Dr Spock method is best, it is mostly common sense!

If you have been watching, what do you think? Would you/did you follow one of these techniques?

Hebrew Anyone?

2009-03-09T16:51:00.002+11:00

Annie, from Calling to Deep, is teaching it on her blog! It is great fun! You can find the first three lessons (that's where it's up to!) here, here and here!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Getting to know you!

2009-03-07T10:35:00.003+11:00

I am taking part in Getting to Know You at Dancing Barefoot. What you do is go to that link and post a comment about your blog and five blogs you like, then each week a couple of blogs will be featured on the site, so that everyone can meet new people! Come join in

How was your week?

2009-02-28T12:35:00.001+11:00

Hi everyone! I didn't get a chance to post or check your blogs over the last week, so I was wondering what you are all up to!

I have had a great week! I have started doing animal studies at Tafe, and it is so much fun! Plus it means that I am on my way to getting my dream job as a Vet!

I hope your weeks were as good!

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-02-28T12:30:00.002+11:00

Here is one for all those cat owners!!

Instructions for giving your cat a pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Talk to it softly. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call your spouse in from the garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Have spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into its mouth. Drop pill down, remove ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get your spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow pill down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to your spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, hold cat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Hold cat’s head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for the local animal shelter to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

A Joke for your Saturday!

2009-02-21T12:39:00.001+11:00

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

Bridges

2009-02-15T17:34:00.006+11:00

Bridges

Now listen up you fellas
Listen up and settle down
Cause there has to be some changes
Right here in this town
There's too much agression
It desecrates the land
Let's build a bridge instead
Let's try to understand

We're all indigenous
From somewhere on this earth
We're all connected to
This tiny bit of dirt
Culture can live side by side
It only takes respect
Let's build that bridge together
It's not completed yet

Away with prejudice and gang violence
This is not the USA
There's culture in this country
And an easier better way
We can make it happen
Providing there's respect
Let's build that bridge together
It's not completed yet

Frank Doolan (Riverbank Frank)

Thankyou to Frank for letting me share his poem! I hope you all like it as much as I do (and no offense to Americans!)

Prayers

2009-02-08T22:28:00.003+11:00

Please join me in praying for all of the families who have just lost everything to the bushfires in Victoria. Many people have lost their homes and loved ones. Please pray the fires are stopped before anyone else loses their life

Have you...

2009-02-06T15:03:00.008+11:00

Paste onto your blog and highlight the ones that are true! Then add a link to your post in the comments, as well as a story about one of the ones you highlighted! (thanks to Thoughts of a Closet Writer)

1. Started your own blog 2. Slept under the stars 3. Played in a band 4. Visited Hawaii 5. Watched a meteor shower 6. Given more than you can afford to charity 7. Been to Disneyland or Disneyworld 8. Climbed a mountain 9. Held a praying mantis 10. Sang a solo 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch 15. Adopted a child 16. Had food poisoning 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty 18. Grown your own vegetables 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France 20. Slept on an overnight train 21. Had a pillow fight 22. Hitch hiked 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 24. Built a snow fort 25. Held a lamb 26. Gone skinny dipping 27. Run a Marathon 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice 29. Seen a total eclipse 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset 31. Hit a home run 32. Been on a cruise 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person 34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 35. Seen an Amish community 36. Taught yourself a new language 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person 39. Gone rock climbing 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David 41. Sung karaoke 42. Seen Olde Faithful Geyser Erupt 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant 44. Visited Africa 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight 46. Been transported in an ambulance (to school, Dad's an Ambo!)47. Had your portrait painted 48. Gone deep sea fishing 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling 52. Kissed in the rain 53. Played in the mud 54. Gone to a drive-in theater 55. Been in a movie or on a TV show 56. Visited the Great Wall of China 57. Started a business 58. Had an encounter with a wild animal 59. Visited Russia 60. Served at a soup kitchen 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies 62. Gone whale watching 63. Got flowers for no reason 64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma 65. Gone sky diving 66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp 67. Bounced a check 68. Flown in a helicopter 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial 71. Eaten Caviar 72. Pieced a quilt 73. Stood in Times Square 74. Toured the Everglades 75. Been fired from a job 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London 77. Broken a bone 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person 80. Published a book 81. Visited the Vatican 82. Bought a brand new car 83. Walked in Jerusalem 84. Had your picture in the newspaper 85. Read the entire Bible (not yet, getting there!) 86. Visited the White House 87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (well I helped) 88. Had chickenpox 89. Saved someone’s life 90. Sat on a Jury 91. Met someone famous 92. Joined a book club 93. Lost a loved one 94. Had a baby 95. Seen the Alamo in person 96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake 97. Been involved in a law suit 98. Owned a cell phone 99. Been stung by a bee 100. Taken a martial arts class

OK, so now for my story! #87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. OK, so I didn't do all of the preparation, but I still think it counts! It was when I was about ten or eleven and I lived in Warialda (which is a very small town at the top of NSW, for those of you who don't know, which is probably all of you!lol). Our neighbors bred meat rabits (rabits for eating), and so one day we helped them to kill and prepare some of them, and then we had spagetti bolagnais (sp?) made with rabit meat, and it was really good!

I can't wait to here your stories!

Wow

2009-02-06T10:36:00.001+11:00

A friend of mine sent me a link today, to a speech on You-tube which I thing everyone should see. It is a speech given to the UN by a 12 year old girl.

See it here

Borrowed Game!

2009-02-06T10:11:00.003+11:00

OK, I have decided to borrow a blog game from To The Max (which was apparently the original idea of Finding Normal).

How it works is I start you off with a question, which you answer and then write a question for the next person to answer!

Would you rather read or watch TV?

First Aid

2009-02-02T12:47:00.002+11:00

First Aid is something that I have been meaning to mention on here for ages, and after reading this article on the BBC's site, it is about time I did!

First Aid really is so simple, and yet no where near enough people take the time to do a course. I don't know if it is the same everywhere, but here it only takes two days and about $150 at the most (a lot of places do it cheaper), to get your first aid certificate. I have had mine for about three years now, and although I rarely need the skills I learned it makes me feel much more confident that if I needed to help someone I could.

So, if you don't have a first aid certificate, or you haven't updated yours in years, go and do it! You might just save someones life one day.

Red Dwarf!

2009-01-29T21:46:00.002+11:00

Yay! Red dwarf is coming back! According to the BBC, here, they are going to make some new episodes, which hopefully will be as good as the rest!

As you have probably noticed I am a big fan of Red Dwarf, we own all 8 series on DVD!

So, any other Red Dwarf fans out there? What do you think of there new episodes idea?

The Joy of Praise

2009-01-23T16:19:00.004+11:00

Last week I was at Warrambui (Lutheran Conference Center near Canberra, I posted about it when I first started here) to be a leader for a Kid's Christian Camp (History Makers). It was great! I love seeing the kids learn about God and faith (this camp's theme was the armor of God), and being a part of this learning! I especially love watching them sing praises during worship time, there is something so wonderful about seeing 100 people singing praises at the top of their lungs with grins on their faces! You can see pictures from previous camps here.

Then after all of the kids went home the leaders stay on for a couple of days, so that we too get a chance to worship and grow in our faith with other young people. (New Heights)

You can get more details here, if you live in Australia!